Meeting Randall Flagg

So as you may know, I am in California visiting my friend Sherry. The other night I went to a play with her to celebrate her mama’s birthday. It was at this small theater in Santa Barbara called Alhecama Theatre. We were attending a production of The Mystery of Irma Vep, which turned out to be quite a strange production indeed. But that’s another story…

As I said, this theater was really small. It sat maybe 200 people, if that. There was only one stall in the ladies bathroom so as you can imagine it was a popular spot before, after, and during intermission. Before the curtain was scheduled to rise, I was sitting on a Church pew-like bench outside of the restroom. While I was waiting on my friend to finish her business so we could find our seats, I looked up and noticed a handsome man flipping through a publication he'd picked up from a nearby table. He appeared to also be waiting on someone in the ladies room. The man looked quite familiar to me and while I’m embarrassed to admit it, I found myself staring intently at him.

Before I could stop myself, I blurted out in my strong South Carolina twang, “Hey, I’m sure you get this all the time…but you look just like the guy that played the captain on Law and Order Criminal Intent.”

“Really?” He said as he stared at me with the same rude intensity I imagine I was imparting on him. But then he smiled as I rambled on.

“Jamey Sheridan. That’s the actor. He also played Randall Flagg in The Stand.”

I looked at him again and with one eyebrow raised he said, “ironic, isn’t it?”
Then he smiled outright as I turned beet red.

“Well,” I said, “if I were a less adoring fan, I might ask you for an autograph.”

I am not even sure what the hell my words meant, but he said, “Then I guess it’s a good thing you aren’t.”

By then his wife had joined him (whom I realized I had chatted up earlier in the bathroom line) and he told me it was nice to meet me and they walked off.

Later I wished I’d done my” folks round here call me Mother Abigail” impression of Ruby Dee. But it was probably for the best that I didn't.